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Over the course of my long career, I have had my fair share of good bosses (like Simon Fraser and Yolanda Canny), and some bad bosses (who know who they are). If I were completely honest with myself, I would also say as a manager of people, I have been rated by some direct reports as a very good boss and by others, I’ve been viewed as a really shitty manager. I own it all. Learning from negative role models Looking back, I see that I have learned as much from the bad bosses as I have with the good ones. The same goes for role models: there are plenty of examples of terrible leadership, as well as the great. While it’s frustrating to see how frequently the unethical and unprincipled leaders get away with stuff, there’s an opportunity to learn a great deal from them. Being a student of leadership often means we need to observe and study not only what we aspire to, but also the opposite. I observed a great deal of negative leadership lessons during 2020, the first year of the pandemic. In fact, negative leadership was a primary inspiration and catalyst for me to develop the curriculum of my new signature program: The Fearless Leader 8-week group mentoring leadership development program . As I re-read the discussion guides for each of the eight weeks, I remember the context of bad leadership and bad bosses that were operating at that time - as I’m sure you’ll recall from that year! And yet, we survived, and grew, and became wiser. Bonus - a new program was born! Our leadership must evolve as we move into 2025. I see an urgent need for each of us to hold on dearly to our values and principles of ethical leadership, no matter how much craziness falls down on us from the top. When you think of some descriptive words about our leaders today, what words come to mind? For me, “power”, “control” and sadly, “greed” come to mind. Classically a male-dominated expression of leadership, power and control are only one form of leadership. There are many other leadership styles and expressions. And while many people praise command and control style leaders as strong, their regimes tend to be quite damaging to those in their care. Win some. Lose some. Winning doesn’t instantly make you a great leader; nor will winning make you a good boss, or a wonderful partner, or worthy parent. It takes so much more than that. I believe that how you handle the losses reveals so much more about your true character as a leader than winning will ever do for you. Choosing to accept your losses with grace, dignity and humility will also build your resilience. So let’s all remember that winning isn’t everything, nor is it the only thing. Being a good leader doesn’t just happen by accident. You have to make an intentional decision and take intentional actions towards being a better kind of fearless leader. In 2025, resolve to be a good boss, a better leader, a respectful colleague, and a positive role model for current and future leaders who you will influence directly or indirectly. My advice to all would-be fearless leaders is this: Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. Seek honest and open feedback. Listen. Create a positive workplace culture. Be accountable. Admit when you are wrong. Apologize. Think before you speak. Be humble and kind. Be grateful. Share. Help others. Leave the world a better place. Pay it forward. Be fearless, but don’t be a jerk.
Years ago, my husband and I inherited a beautiful free-form wall sculpture from his world-traveling uncle named Otto. Created by Czechoslovak artist Herbert Seiler, this piece has been proudly hung in our homes over the years since Otto’s death. The piece has always intrigued me but not for the reasons you might think. Crafted from copper and other metals, molded and shaped to create a feeling of ships at sea. But by tilting our heads and looking at the piece from a different angle, the art becomes something different. Can you see it?
[Sensitive topic warning: Infertility, miscarriage, abortion.] I never thought I’d be sharing this personal information, but the stakes are too high in this election. I must tell you my personal story of my medically necessary abortion. It happened twenty-four years ago. I was thirty-eight years old and just returned home to the States following a fabulous three-year work assignment in Europe for my company. I was at the peak of my career and the future looked bright. My husband and I decided that we were ready to start a family and have children. After trying for more than a year, I found myself having difficulty getting pregnant. Turns out my fallopian tubes were damaged, and it was not possible to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. I remember how painful it was to be going to other people's baby showers knowing that I couldn’t conceive a child without medical intervention. So… We opted for IVF. IVF was difficult for me in so many ways: physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially. With every needle injection and awkward procedure, I was reminded that no matter how well I planned and organized my life, there were certain things I just couldn’t control. The first round of IVF produced only one viable egg. It didn’t take. The second round of IVF we got lucky and produced six viable eggs. We took a risk and implanted all six embryos in my body at once, understanding the possibility of having twins or triplets. In the end only one egg took hold in my womb. Days after we got the good news, I remember singing a song while hiking with my husband, “One, singular egg-sation, every little step she takes.” A few weeks into the pregnancy, we decided to share our wonderful news (perhaps prematurely) with our extended family and close friends. It was so joyous and exciting, until… Failure to thrive At the appointment for our second ultrasound, our spirits sank when the technician couldn’t find the fetal heartbeat. You should have seen the look on her face. We knew in an instant that our heroic efforts to have a family had failed. Our fetus (which we called our Little Peanut) had failed to thrive. A medically necessary procedure The next thing I knew my doctor had scheduled a medically necessary abortion known as a D&C to remove the dead tissue inside my womb. In my grief, I didn’t really understand why I was having this procedure, but the doctor told me that it was necessary to safeguard my health and any future possibility of having children. So, I followed the doctor's orders. Knowing what I know now, I’m grateful that I had the procedure as it protected me and my future. I was lucky back then that the government wasn’t involved in this very personal and private matter between me and my doctor. Healing takes time It’s taken many years, but I have healed from my miscarriage and the loss of my motherhood dreams. I have learned to accept and embrace our child-free lifestyle. I have found other productive ways to apply my maternal instincts and to grow as a person. In fact, I have dedicated my professional life to helping women break through the barriers to leadership and have fulfilling careers and lives. My life is blessed in so many ways. But still… I worry about women. I worry about women and girls of child-bearing age and their freedom to make decisions about their own bodies and futures. I fear for their health and well-being. These women are our future leaders. I want them to have the freedom and opportunity to realize their full leadership potential. More repressive legislation is coming… The same medically necessary abortion procedure that saved my health and my future is now restricted in many parts of the US. In some states like Texas, doctors and healthcare providers are being threatened with prison sentences and loss of their medical licenses if they provide these necessary health care services to their patients. Right now, pregnant women across this country are suffering and dying because they can’t get the health care that they need. According to the March of Dimes more than 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. Miscarriage. With abortion bans continuing, many women who experience miscarriages could find themselves in life-threatening situations. And it’s getting darker… Some states and groups are calling to make IVF illegal. Others want to monitor women’s movements to prevent them from traveling to other states to get the health care they need. There are leaders out there who want to pass a national abortion ban, like Trump and Vance, and the folks at the Heritage Foundation who are the architects of Project 2025 that seeks to obliterate sexual and reproductive health and rights for all people. The illusion of exceptions Many states, including South Carolina where I live, legislators placate their constituents by including the phrase “with exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother” into legislation and their stump speeches. This is a façade and a logistical impracticality. It’s also inhumane. Women shouldn’t have to be at death’s door to get the health care they need. We want “the health of the mother” and all women to be the norm, not the exception. To achieve this, we must include abortion care (and contraception and IVF) as legal, safe, accepted and respected health care. There’s still time to restore reproductive rights and protect women With every moment that goes by, women are at risk in states with Trump-inspired abortion bans in place. Women’s health is also threatened by politicians (and the billionaires and think tanks who support them) who have intentions to ban abortion at the national level. Choosing the wrong leaders in this election (up and down the ticket) could have grave consequences on women’s health. And that would have devastating impacts on women and families and the health of our nation for generations to come. Voting (not violence) is the way we make change in America. If you value and respect women, you will vote to protect their reproductive rights. If you value freedom and health care for all, you will vote to protect democracy. This election I proudly cast my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Because lives depend on it. And I urge you to do the same.
You’ve heard the expression, “All Systems Go.” It indicates a state of readiness for immediate action. This is how my fearless virtual assistant, Samantha (Sam) McCracken makes me think-feel-do. I believe the phrase “All Systems Go” originated from space flight control centers and was the confident response given when everything was ready to launch. I can only imagine how many people, steps, procedures, systems, tests and trials, and investment preceded that confident declaration of readiness. As woman-owned business that has been operational since 2005, I cannot even remember how many different methods and systems I have experimented with. I seem to have a propensity for complexity and personalization. Perhaps it’s how my brain works. I am not an analytic, systems thinker. I am more of a creative entrepreneur type. I remember writing my first book Networking Ahead for Business about the importance of networking follow-up. In my research for the book I quoted another expert who narrowed in on what I was missing – the system. Opening my own book this morning and finding the passage, I am reminded of the importance of systems even with routine activities such as professional networking. Taking my own advice from my own book (first published in 2010 and updated in 2017), I built a networking follow-up system. But it wasn’t efficient. It wasn’t fast. And it didn’t allow me to scale my efforts and impact. In short, my system wasn’t particularly powerful. I was still bogged down with all of the follow-up tasks and unable to leverage the fearless networking I was capable of. So I took the next local step and I outsourced some of my administrative tasks to a Virtual Assistant. Basically I dumped my messy system onto to the VA in hopes that they would transform it into something magical. It was good and helpful but I was still missing something important. I was missing the SYSTEM. “Whoever said ‘the fortune is in the follow-up’ first could have been a billionaire if they only got a penny for every time someone said it. And yet, they’ve only got it half right. Follow-up is important, that’s true. But the real fortune is in the follow-up system ." ~ Lisa Robbin Young And then the pandemic came along and we all had to learn new ways of delivering our work and value to our clients. I took a course with David Newman called High Fee Mastery. It was a game-changing investment for me. This is where I learned the 8-week group mentoring virtual model of delivering leadership development training and coaching. Within a few months The Fearless Leader™ 8-week group mentoring cohort program was launched. It was fantastic to find a new brand, platform and purpose. My business service offerings had transformed to 100% virtual delivery. I was (and still am) very happy about that! But tasks were taking too long to complete. For example, onboarding new cohort members was a manual nightmare. My SYSTEMS were scattered. David Newman didn’t seem to have that problem. I wondered what he had that I didn’t have. Okay, let’s be honest, David is fearless, gifted, driven, and Uber confident in what he does and how he does it. He knows his value. David also had someone quite talented behind the scenes. I asked him to please introduce me to his operations manager (and my future fearless virtual assistant) SamMcCracken, business owner of Sharp Business Support. Find the right people to create the right SYSTEMS. After my first consultation call with Sam, I immediately sensed that she would bring tremendous value to my business, my life and my work day. I still remember the three questions she asked me to think about and write a list of (paraphrasing here): 1. things you don’t have time for 2. things you don’t enjoy doing 3. things that need to get done but are not the best use of your time I whipped out my list and shared it with Sam. It became our initial project list. Within a very short period of time, I could see the systematic improvements in my business operations. Things were easier and faster to get done. Less rework. Fewer steps. Sam quickly got me set up on new technology platforms including Airtable, Zapier, Jotform, Calendly, Lead pages, Squarespace, Mighty Networks, Stripe, MailChimp, Google Docs, Loom, ROCK – just to name a few. And although we have many pieces, they all fit and flow together. It’s amazing looking back how many new things I’ve been exposed to and how much more I’ve been able to accomplish…with Sam McCracken at my side. That’s why she is known as “Done For You Tech.” SYSTEMS can make work more fun. Sam sets up my systems, optimizes them, and then teaches me how to use them. We collaborate and communicate daily. Best of all she is a delight to work with. Pleasant, professional, calm, creative, solution-oriented, highly skilled, fast as all get out. And best of all, there is absolutely no drama. What used to burden me now brings me joy and reward. I have to chalk that up to Sam McCracken. She’s my secret weapon…and I’m happy to share her with you. Did I mention that she lives in Spain? The time zone difference has never been a problem. She recently sent me a few favorite pictures of her. I like this one best. It says to me, “With the right systems and the right people on your success team, you can work anywhere anytime, even at a coastal cafe in Spain should you choose.” With Sam McCracken by your side, you too could operate like this! Is this the world’s longest recommendation, or what? Please forgive me if I am overly effusive (gushing even) about how pleased I am to work with Sam McCracken. I want her to continue to grow and succeed in her business. Just today I recommended her to my colleague Cheryl Jones of Thriving With Cheryl Jones and her new podcast Thrive 55+ . If you are an established coaching/training professional like me, spending your precious time on tedious operations and technology – when you could be out there transforming people, Sam McCracken can help you streamline, automate and grow your business. (Note: I have lifted this from Sam’s LinkedIn profile. ) There are two main things she helps her clients with: 1. They need an online course built for them, but they don’t know which tool(s) to use, or they don’t have the time. Sam can build an online course in as little as ONE DAY, with my VIP Day package. It’s true – ONE DAY! 2. Operations aren’t as smooth as they could be. There’s a lot of “stuff” going on, and things could definitely be streamlined. Sam implements systems to organize and automate many of the business operations, resulting in higher accuracy, response times, and profits. Trust me it works! For those of you who are systems-thinker and want to carefully analyze whether or not you are ready for a Virtual Assistant, Sam prepared this outline for my blog to help you assess your need for a Virtual Assistant: Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business by Sam McCracken, owner of Sharp Business Support Introduction Setting the Stage: The Challenges of a Disorganized Business Identifying Common Issues: Lack of Organization, Inefficient Processes, and Time Drain The Role of Virtual Assistants (VAs) How Virtual Assistants Can Be the Key to Organizational Transformation Choosing the Right Virtual Assistant Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business Implementing Effective Systems Unleashing Efficiency: How Automation Can Save Time and Resources Building a Foundation: The Importance of Well-Designed Systems and Processes Regaining Control: How VAs Help Business Owners Reclaim Their Time This outline would flush out into a great eBook. Maybe Sam will produce it someday (probably in ONE DAY knowing her). But do you really need an eBook to tell you what you already know that you need. If you are anything like me, you know you need help developing a SYSTEM for your business. Carpe Diem. Let’s get going. With Sam McCracken by your side, you too will be All Systems Go!
I hope it’s not too late to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR. May 2024 bring you vibrant health, happiness, joy and fulfillment of your professional and personal endeavors. I’m curious what goals have you set for yourself for 2024? What do you hope to accomplish? Where will you put your energy and attention? I have set some fearless goals for 2024 including finish building a new house (a dream project that my husband and I have been working on solidly for the past 2 years. Time to move in already!), launching a new book called Fearless Female Leaders , with coauthor Rosemary Paetow. This book will be the first in a series of Fearless Leader Books™. And of course, I want to expand my signature program, The Fearless Leader™ . I will do that by building out my team of trained facilitators who can bring the program to move people around the world. Personally, I would also like to resume traveling and see more of the world. I have my eyes set on Costa Rica and Portugal this year. And, I want to be there for my aging parents and in-laws. That’s primarily what has driven me to select SHOWING UP as my 2024 Word of the Year. I want to show up as my best self every day, everywhere. I intend to show up for myself and for my family. It’s a tall intention, and one that I will no doubt fail and disappoint often. But every morning I ask myself “How will show up today?” I even keep a daily journal to record how I actually show up. So far, I like my chosen Word of the Year and I believe it will serve me well in the remaining 349 days or 8,369 hours in 2024. I have plenty of time and opportunity to show up…and so do you! What are your fearless goals for 2024? You might be wondering what I mean by fearless goals? A goal is a goal is a goal, right? When I think of fearless goals I imagine something big and important, that really matters to me, that I really want to accomplish for me… and that scares the living daylights out of me. When I think of my fearless goals for the future, I am reminded of a quote by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” What is so important to you that you won’t let something like fear stop you? Consider these areas of your life When selecting fearless goals for 2024, consider these different aspects of your life: 1. Professional/occupational 2. Personal 3. Health 4. Family 5. Travel / Adventure 6. Personal Brand 7. Leadership 8. Other I hosted a recent virtual event called Fearlessly Informal Coffee Chat and we had 23 people attend. In addition to getting to know each other through networking, we discussed two questions in breakout groups: 1. What’s your Word of the Year for 2024? Why did you choose it? How do you see this playing out? Who will help hold you accountable to this intention? 2. What fearless goals have you set for yourself in 2024? Why do these matter so much to you? What strategies will you use to overcome fear and ensure you make progress towards your goals (even if baby steps) Formalizing your 2024 fearless goals I invite you to give these above two questions some reflection before the New Year’s spirit gets away from us and we’re in the grind of doing, doing, doing. Why note write a passage of intention in your journal. Share your goals with trusted people in your life and ask them to hold you accountable. You could write a New Year’s Letter and share it with your network. That’s what my mentor and friend, Arthur Samuel Joseph did. And it moved me profoundly. Who is Arthur? He is one of the world’s foremost authorities on the Human Voice. He is a 7-time author, Master Teacher and creator of the Vocal Awareness Institute. He has coached, trained, supported thousands of world-class athletes, artists, leaders and performers of all kinds, including people from the business world, like me. In fact, I am currently enrolled in his one-year Vocal Awareness Mastermind Group. It is such a privilege to be in the same room as Arthur, even if it’s virtually! With his permission, I am sharing with you his beautiful and inspired words about the importance of LEGACY – something we all need to be thinking about and doing more carefully. LEGACY: Arthur’s Annual New Year’s Letter January 10, 2024 As I write this New Year’s letter, I approach a landmark in my life. I will be 78 this month. The landmark is that I begin my 60th year of teaching! Because of this, this year’s letter takes on even greater personal significance for me. In preparation for this creative moment, I have done a great deal of reflection re-reading many pieces I have written in the past and thinking deeply about the future—not just mine—the future for all of us. As a country, the U.S. is perhaps experiencing the most challenging time since our Founding Fathers created America. Wherever those of you in the world who will read this letter live, perhaps your country/your society is also struggling. The ‘overarcing ‘purpose of this letter is to support each of us in being and doing our very best for our Selves, our families and as we choose, the societies in which we live. In this regard, since the creation of Vocal Awareness, one fundamental goal has always been Personal Sovereignty: To help all those I work with to achieve their own enlightenment and enjoy their own empowerment. As I continue deepening and evolving within my Self and within the Work throughout the decades, I have come to recognize and respect that of course, as I have always said, ‘Voice is Power’—that When we Own our Voice, We Own our Power’. In my evolution, I have come to grasp what this really means—beyond the obvious—Voice is vibration—it is energy. To enable us to live in the sovereignty of who we are capable of being—’our supreme excellence’—we want to be able to integrate our very vibration, the energy of who we are in full Conscious Awareness in everything we do, everything we feel; everything we say —as integrally as mindfully as honestly as possible within our Self, in our very thoughts and with whomever we speak. As one of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke said over a hundred years ago, “I want to unfold. I do not want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.” Here is another translation of Rilke’s same poem: “I want to unfold. Let no place in me hold itself closed, for wherever I am closed, I am false.” Whatever interpretation/translation one reads, the goal is the same—to live in the truth of who we are—doing and being our very best every single day. Living in this way can enable each of us to truly fulfill our legacy, our promise and through the vibration and energy we carry forth—not simply feel empowered, but actually, be empowered . In turn, in this precarious time rather than being victimized by it, we can instead rise above and perhaps through our Voice, our vibration, our very energy, bring others along with us, enabling our Selves, our community, our families to be healthier, stronger, more compassionate and loving, making the world a better place because we are in it. In preparing for today, one of my readings was to go back to my first book The Sound of the Soul from 1996. The following excerpt is from the final chapter: ‘Vocal Awareness: Creating a New Mythology.’ “…Vocal Awareness and the dissemination of its principles is my vocation, my calling, my lifelong artistic and professional passion. Why do I tell you this? Not because I think Vocal Awareness will be as central to your life as it is to mine, but because I would like you to see Vocal Awareness as fundamental to your life as breathing and communicating are…The practice of Vocal Awareness can be a bulwark against the changing tides of life. It offers a metaphorical, spiritual, and practical structure upon which, in your way and through your power, you can build a life of honor and success…I hope as you [finish reading this letter], you will see your Self as embarking upon the most exhilarating chapter of your new life…one that has brought you closer to your Self… I so love living a life guided by and supported with the Conscious Awareness that Vocal Awareness shows me. I merely have to require my Self to surrender to its ethic because Vocal Awareness has taught me so well how to be the best of my Self possible at all times. I long ago recognized that there are no shortcuts, that, in fact, the only way out is through …Continue your ascent. Continue soaring. Feel the full investiture of your Self in every breath, in every sound and with the fullest integration of mind/body/spirit.” The Sound of the Soul closes with a quote from a poem by the Nobel Laureate, Seamus Heaney. As this poem was so seminal in my personal evolution, I quoted it before and am passing the last stanza on once again as part of My Legacy as I begin my 60th year of teaching as it explains why God gave me Vocal Awareness at such an early stage of my life as my Journey was just beginning. “…I rhyme to see myself. To set the darkness echoing.” I was given Vocal Awareness to see, heal my Self, claim my Self, better serve God, the Work and by extension help others do the same. May this year’s letter contribute to your legacy and be as a beacon that illuminates your path, your Journey, helping you in even some small way reach the fulfillment of your Deeper Self as you claim the life you deserve. Here’s to a bountiful 2024 and beyond! Sincerely, Arthur
Did you know that the nemesis known as Procrastination cannot withstand the light and power of Accountability? Here’s how to make Accountability your superpower in 2023. New Year – New Goals There’s something magical about the beginning of a new calendar year. A fresh start – new possibilities. It can make you feel like you can do ANYTHING – just like superheroes! But, there are no superheroes, and life is incredibly demanding. The sensible part of us knows that and realizes that we shouldn’t fool ourselves into thinking things will be different just because the calendar has ticked over to a new year. Goal setting alone won’t make our dreams come true. Unless we do something different. As they say, No Change, no change . So why is it that one of the most common new years activities is to set new goals and make resolutions? Perhaps it is because it’s fun to dream about positive change. It’s exciting to envision a new you, one that is slimmer, healthier, happier, and infinitely more successful, etc. But deep down we all know that making big, sustainable change happen is only possible through discipline, action, support, consistent effort, sacrifice, etc. etc. Well, that’s not easy nor is it fun. Maybe that’s why so many people abandon their new year’s goals and resolutions so quickly. So, what’s missing? In one word: Accountability. Here’s a compelling excerpt from Ohio State University blog post: “Plenty of people set goals, but few create a way to be accountable for them. Studies have shown that people who write a goal and identify a way to be accountable for it are twice as likely to achieve that goal than someone who thinks about it or writes it down. Goal accountability means that you are responsible not only to set and achieve goals but to find some way to be accountable to someone other than yourself.” Source: https://fisher.osu.edu/blogs/leadreadtoday/blog/new-years-resolution-accountability It’s true! Accountability is often the missing ingredient in goal setting. It’s like accidently leaving out the baking soda in your favorite cake recipe. It fails to rise. Your results are flat and disappointing. Rethinking Accountability When thinking more deeply about such things, I often find it helpful to consult the online dictionary. What is the meaning and origin of these words and concepts that we so commonly speak? Definitions (sources: Cambridge English Dictionary and good old Google) Goal Setting: the process of deciding what you want to achieve or what you want someone else to achieve over a particular period Accountable: the fact of being responsible for what you do and able to give a satisfactory reason for it, or the degree to which this happens. Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions Synonyms for Accountable: responsible, liable, answerable, obligated, indebted, amenable, obliged, beholden Antonyms for Accountable: irresponsible, exempt, immune, unaccountable, nonaccountable I am aware that the word Accountability (like the word Discipline) carries a negative connotation. It can feel punitive and harsh. We see these words appear often in the context of criminal justice or a political scandal. And while “lying is not a crime” you may (or may not) be held accountable for lying on your resume when running for let’s say, Congress. Being successful should not just be about avoiding accountability (aka, not getting caught). Accountability could and should be used more positivity and proactively. It is a desired attribute we should encourage and cultivate in ourselves, our team, and our families. Maybe we could even think about it as a habit? What can accountability do for you? I believe that accountability can be your superpower! It can turn an ordinary professional into a high achiever. It can be help you fend off the procrastination, excuses, and fear that have been slowing down your progress and postponing your goals. As Bob Proctor was fond of saying, “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.” Most people have plenty of commitment, they are short on glue. Hence, no results. The hardest part about accountability is trying to do it all by yourself. You will need an accountability partner (or buddy) to help you in accessing this superpower. Don’t keep it a secret and don’t try to go it alone. ASK FOR HELP from someone you trust. Ask them to help hold you accountable for what you say is important in your life. I like to think of accountability as insurance for my goals and success. What will this require of you? Like other forms of insurance, accountability comes with a premium and deductibles. Accountability will require you to do a few uncomfortable things at first, including: 1. trust someone 2. be vulnerable 3. embrace transparency 4. admit your failings and shortcomings 5. be honest with yourself 6. ask for help But the good news is that Accountability will become more natural and normal the more you do it. It is possible to make Accountability a good habit in your life. It’s good insurance to have – accountability will help protect your assets and your future success! More Accountability = More Success! To help myself and others in my network tap into the superpower of accountability, I have created a new program called Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking monthly virtual support group for aspiring fearless leaders who want to stay on track and build momentum in their careers and lives. Our motto is “More Accountability = More Success!” What is it all about? We meet the first Thursday of each month on Zoom for a 90-minutes to get clear and transparent about what we are each doing (or not doing so well) to move towards our stated goals. We use a proprietary Accountability Habit Tracker to increase awareness and practices that support our goal success. Every month, participants in the Fearless Accountability program identify and share with their monthly accountability buddy 3 action goals that they will complete during that month using the Action of Agreement tool. I have used this tool for years with clients who have taken my presentation skills training classes. Your leadership journey will require you to continuously set new goals and make investments to develop yourself. We also use a proprietary Habit Tracker to make sure you have the awareness and best practices to support your development and success. Free Helpful Tool As my New Year’s gift to you, please DOWNLOAD the tool and use it! Tool – Agreement of Action for Accountable Leaders If you are serious about reaching your goals and building momentum in your career and life, then I invite you to join the Fearless Accountability group. Space is limited to 20 participants. Next team meeting is January 5, 2023 from 11am-12:30pm EST.It’s affordable and it’s fun! (really!) We have room for a few more people. How about you? Enroll at www.FearlessAccountability.com Accountability is calling to you. It needs you. And we’re here to pick up that call and help you MOVE FORWARD in the direction of your goals and dreams. Let’s make 2023 a year we can all be proud of!
December can be a challenging month. We make the assumption that business leaders are very busy and unavailable with quarterly and annual year end business push. Like us, we know that working professionals are consumed not only with their demanding jobs, but with the holiday season. We make the false assumption that they are not open to hearing from us. We don’t want to burden them. So, we don’t call. We don’t reach out. We go quiet. And we let an entire month slip by. It’s a bad decision and one that will cost you time, momentum, and opportunity. It’s time to make those Courage Calls! I’ve made more than my fair share of courage calls and they have paid of big time. Not only in winning new business (yes, getting YES’s during the crazy month of December), but also winning respect and faith in myself and my abilities. Does that sound like something you’d like to do? If so, you should consider joining my new program, Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking support group for fearless leaders (and aspiring fearless leaders) who want to STAY on track. We meet virtually on the first Thursday of every month to help hold each other accountable to our commitments and goals. We don’t allow each other to wiggle out of things with excuses or fear or avoidance. We don’t try to impress each other. We practice shame-free tough love and support. We even have a digital habit tracker to ensure we are practicing the behaviors and mindset that leads to success. Our motto is: “More Accountability = More Success.” We believe that accountability and success are intertwined. You can’t have one without the other. Find out more at www.FearlessAccountabilty.com Here’s to building greater MOMENTUM in 2023, making those courage calls, and following through on the actions that will lead us to achieving our goals and fulfilling our potential!
It’s funny how great news can sometimes turn your whole life upside down and cause you great consternation. For me that moment came in a planning meeting with our financial advisor. At our request, she was running a few scenarios to see how and when we might be ready for retirement. She shared some of her assumptions, including the one where she assumed we would retire in January. I said to her, “you mean this coming January? Like in 5 weeks?” She said, “Yes. And looks like you can do it. If you want to, you can begin your retirement this January.” That conversation was 10 months ago, and my head is still spinning. On the one hand, I was very excited (and relieved) that we could begin to draw down on our retirement savings to pay for our living expenses. On the other hand, I was scared, confused and uncertain about what this transition would mean to my business? my work? my brand? my identity? (And to be completely honest, my EGO). I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to “retire” in the classic sense. There were many restless nights. I experienced a level of angst that surprised me. How could I be so unhappy with such a blessing? My husband thought I was nuts. That’s when I realized planning for retirement and being ready to retire is NOT just about the money. There’s an emotional and mental piece to this big life transitions. There’s real fear. There’s concern over loss of identity, relevance, meaning, purpose. What will become of America’s Marketing Motivator if I retire? Who’s going want to hire me when I tell them I’ve retired. Maybe that’s why I’ve had trouble writing this blog post. Would you believe I started it last December??? The original title I envisioned for this blog post was “Stepping into a New Arena.” My final title is a bit more truthful – “I’m not done yet.” Then I remembered my Word-of-the-Year for 2022. My focus word was EVOLVE. I was evolving and that means change. I found two definitions of evolve in the online dictionary: develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form. give off (gas or heat) I guess I’m in for both. Changing, morphing, and yes, outgassing. Better out than in Shrek always says. For the first few months, I tried to figure out myself what this transition would or should mean to me. I didn’t get very far. Still uncertain and uncomfortable. Then I reached out to Wendy Green to see if she could help guide me. Wendy is the host of the Hey,Boomer Live Show and podcast and she’s a graduate of my Fearless Leader program. Full Disclosure: I am a member of her Advisory Panel and have been helping to guide her as she grows her new business and brand. I’d been listening with great joy to her weekly shows live streamed on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. And Wendy asked for our feedback about launching a new 6-week group workshop called What’s Next?, I thought it was a smart business move. When Wendy shared the mission of the What’s Next? program which is to support evolving adults as they shift from full-time work to their next chapter , I suddenly realized that I would be the ideal prospect for this new program. It was something about the word “evolving” that called to me. I needed this! And so, I enrolled. I committed to the What’s Next? 6-session group workshop. It’s an odd feeling to switch chairs. When the teacher becomes the student. When the consultant becomes the client. There’s a certain level of vulnerability and trust that you must create and honor. And with Wendy Green now as MY coach, MY mentor, MY guide, I quickly realized that I was in excellent hands. I’d like to share 8 things I loved most about my experience in the What’s Next? program with Wendy Green. It was a truly excellent program. Real & relevant. It came as the exact right time in my life. (Okay, it could have been useful a few years before, but I wasn’t aware enough to know that I needed it.) Wendy Green is a highly skilled professional coach. She is intuitive, compassionate, and pushy when she needs to be. This program provided me with practical tools and valuable resources. My favorite being the Life Themes Profiler assessment, and book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life Changes (40th anniversary edition!) by William and Susan Bridges. I met new people in this program that I would otherwise never have known. Observing, supporting, and getting to know them and their What’s Next? journey was extremely helpful. I now know that I’m not alone in this struggle. I came away from the course with a six-month and a 1-year action plan. This has provided me with great comfort and clarity. I review it regularly and have been able to celebrate a few WINS. I’m building momentum in my What’s Next? phase of life. Accountability. Wendy has stayed in touch with me, sending me emails reminding me of what I said I wanted in the next chapter of my life and to see how I’m doing. She hasn’t forgotten about me. This business of transitioning takes time, and you will need ongoing support. Great value. The fee for the course is ridiculously affordable. An easy YES. And the value that you get out of this experience is truly priceless. If you pressed me for an ROI figure, I would estimate….hmmm…at least 1000%. Yah, that’s about right. Now, I sleep better at night. I’m not done yet. Are you? As a result of taking the What’s Next? program and doing the reflection and work of transition, I have more clarity about my vision, mission, and purpose and how I want things to roll moving forward. I’ve decided that “I’m Not Done Yet.” (I just love saying that. It’s so affirming and energizing.) I suppose it is also true to say that I’m stepping into a new arena – one of my own design and choosing. Now I see more clearly what’s possible in this next chapter of my life and I’m excited by it. It will include a multitude of things that bring me JOY such as mentoring others through The Fearless Leader program. I have also decided the things I will let go of and what I won’t do. (Wait for it? I am no longer doing keynote speaking. That decision even surprised me.) And I do want to smell the roses, tend my garden, take long walks daily, and take on small projects, like building a new house (okay that’s a HUGE project). If Anthony Fauci (age 81) and Serena Williams (age 40) can do this thing called retire AND still have purpose, relevance, passion and goals, then so can I. So can you. We just need to face the fear (of retirement) and do it anyway. Get the Help You Need to Navigate Transitions It took me 10 months to finish this blog I started way back when I got the “great news” that I could retire financially. I couldn’t do it on my own. I was struggling. It was mentally and emotionally confusing and painful. But I’m here to tell you now that I am getting through this transition just fine. But I know that are others out there who are struggling with the idea of retirement. And they aren’t dealing with it head on. They are delaying the examination until it hits them square in the face. Bam. So… If you are a mid-life working professional like me (yes, I turned 60!) who is heading towards retirement (or recently retired) but are not sure what you want in this next phase of your life, then I recommend you reach out to Wendy and learn more about the What’s Next? group coaching program. And to the financial planners who are working with clients all day long to help prepare them financially for retirement, PLEASE let them know about Wendy Green and her program. Your clients will need more than just their 401K funds to enter retirement. They need other levels of support and guidance. Don’t try to be their therapist. Introduce them to Wendy Green, the Boomer Coach. And to the companies , leaders, bosses who have people in their companies who will be nearing retirement soon, consider gifting them more than just a nice going away party and a pretty but useless retirement clock. Here’s a brilliant idea: Why not hire Wendy Green to facilitate a private cohort group of the What’s Next program for the pre- and post-retirees at your company. After all, they’ve given the best of years to grow your business, they deserve to be supported more fully as they leave your company.
I’ve been thinking a lot of gender equity these days. Well, actually gender inequity. Perhaps it was prompted by the daily news barrage or pending legislation that threatens to strip women and minorities of their constitutional rights. Or maybe it was from watching TV shows that made me dream of a better world in which women and girls can rise to the very top of their professions…and thrive. Good fictional writers can help us envision a world that is full of possibilities. For example, my husband and I just finished watching all four seasons of the Amazon Prime original series, Mozart in the Jungle . And we just loved it. The story was inspired by Blair Tindall’s 2005 memoir, Mozart in the Jungle: Sex, Drugs, and Classical Music. Tindall, an accomplished oboist, spent 23 years as a professional musician in New York City, playing with such groups as the New York Philharmonic, Orpheus Chamber Orchestra, and the Orchestra of St. Luke’s, presenting a critically acclaimed solo debut at Carnegie Recital Hall, and earning a jazz Grammy nomination. Indeed, she had reached the pinnacle of success in her field. In the last episode of the fourth and final season, the charismatic conductor, maestro Rodrigo de Souza, played by actor Gael García Bernal, skips out on a big performance, but not before he hands the leadership reigns over to a very talented young musician and aspiring conductor, Hailey Rutledge. A woman. Watch this short video, as actor Lola Clementine Kirke, who plays Hailey Rutledge in the TV series, conducts an ensemble premiering a new piece written by a female composer. This inspiring performance gives me the chills every time I watch it.
At a networking skills CPE class that I facilitated a few years ago, an accountant asked me a very insightful question: How do you turn a new contact into a meaningful connection? That got me thinking more deeply about what’s involved in actually forming relationships – the kind that can really help you advance your career, business and life. I sketched out my initial thoughts on a flip chart right there in the class (see image to the right), but I knew that the question deserved more thought. This flip chart has been displayed in my office for the past 3 months. [note: no PowerPoint slide would have had that kind of staying power] How do you measure networking success? In today’s age of digital media, many of us are under the false impression that our social media friends are “real” friends. Perhaps some are, but most of them are just contacts. People may have randomly clicked the “Connect” or “Add Friend” button. (what I call the “lazy button”). If they are a friend of a friend, then they pass the test and you accept their invitation. As of this moment in time, I have 1,518 friends on Facebook. Does that make me more liked and accepted than the person who has only 500? Does it make me less successful than someone who has accumulated 50,000 friends on Facebook? Are these real friends or followers or just random strangers? What about LinkedIn? I get invitations every day from strangers, most using the default invitation message. Some invites have no picture to go with a name. Is it safe to let them into your professional network? Some say that the more online connections one has, the more career and business opportunities you can create? Right? Maybe not… The Funnel of Networking Opportunity What I love about the networking process is that it has the potential to turn strangers into life-long friends. Of course this takes an incredible amount of time, energy, alignment, and good fortune to move from the top of the funnel to the bottom of the funnel. Not every relationship will move through to the concentrated end point. Nor should they. Notice how this networking funnel has open spaces or leaks. Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. A networking relationship, like any relationship, is “at-will” and requires both parties to make the investment of time, energy, and mutual respect to maintain and grow. Let me walk you through my thoughts as to how networking relationships migrate through this metaphorical funnel and what you can do to develop your new connections to the next stages of value. Stage #1 – Stranger We all start out as strangers. People who don’t yet know each other. You might have something in common, such as a common friend, the same school or community, or maybe even you come from the same race – the human race. So even though you don’t know each other, you don’t have to fear strangers. As Will Rogers once said, “A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.” Actions you can take at this stage: Reach out and introduce yourself. Be civil, polite, and friendly. Don’t be creepy and get too familiar too soon. Don’t stalk. (remember that LinkedIn is not a dating site). Allow this stranger to choose to accept your invitation or decline. If you really want to meet them, ask a mutual friend to introduce you. Stage #2 – Contact You’ve made contact either on-line or in person, but still you don’t know a lot about each other. Your brain hasn’t yet found a place to file both the face and the name, but if things continue, you might just open up a mental file folder for this new person. You might find that you start to run into each other at events (online or in person) and you need to be reminded of their name. For all intents and purposes, they are a number to you. Don’t expect too much at this stage. You don’t have enough relationship equity to ask for anything…yet. Actions you can take at this stage: You need to make the effort to get to know them. Spend some time researching their background on line. Find out what common connections you have with this person. Where and how do your paths cross? If you are feeling brave, reach out online or via telephone to re-introduce yourself and spend a few minutes to learn more about them. Get their full contact details and send a personalized invitation to connect to the online network that they prefer. Stage #3 Connection By good fortune, you have discovered that you have something in common – perhaps a shared experience, common friends, common goals or beliefs. You can now relate to each other and this starts to build the rapport process. You can laugh, smile and converse more easily with this connection. You start to notice things about them that you appreciate. You suspect that you might be able to help them or they might be able to help you move towards your goals. You enjoy their company and are curious to learn more about each other. Actions you can take at this stage: Make note of your conversation and what they shared with you. Send them a personalized follow up, noting these items and demonstrating that you paid attention and have a genuine interest in them. If you haven’t yet captured their contact details, please do so at this time. Make sure you are connected online and can easily communicate. If this connection is really interesting to you, invite them to have virtual networking coffee chat with you. I use Calendly scheduling system to make scheduling easy and automated. It’s linked to my Google calendar so I can avoid scheduling conflicts. Also no more back and forth scheduling hell. Or maybe you might invite them to join you at a networking event that you plan to attend (virtual or in person). If you see an article or other resource that you think would interest them, send it. If you promised to make any introductions for them, do so promptly and professionally. Stage #4 Relationship Time has passed and you have both invested in this relationship. You have spent quality time together. You know some details of their professional and personal life that they have shared with you. You respect and honor the confidence and trust that they have bestowed upon you. You genuinely want to see them succeed and fulfill their goals. They wish you the best as well. At this stage, you find yourself freely giving and receiving feedback, introductions, guidance, and help. You can easily pick up the telephone and speak to them. You might even reach out to them on behalf of another person. You have established relationship equity and you want to protect and nurture it. Actions you can take at this stage: Stay in regular touch (at least every 2 months of so). Inquire about their family and the things that are important to them. Don’t just talk business. Get personal and show that you care. Send them birthday cards. Celebrate their successes. Communicate actively (telephone and face to face), and passively (social media, email, written correspondence). Make an effort to help them achieve their goals, through facilitated networking introductions and supporting the causes that they champion. Have breakfast/lunch or dinner with them at least once/year. Stage #5 Strategic Partner Your relationship has entered this exciting next stage. You have created enough trust, understanding and compatibility that it makes sense to align your careers/businesses for mutual growth. Perhaps there is opportunity to refer each other to clients and prospects. Maybe you’d like to evolve this connection into a formal mentoring relationship. Perhaps you might even consider starting a business together or collaborating on new ventures, while maintaining your legal/financial independence. It may be advisable to document your agreements in writing and have an attorney review it. Discuss plainly your vision for how this partnership will work and what processes you will follow. Actions you can take at this stage: If you sense that there is strategic potential in this relationship, invite the other person to consider formalizing your relationship. You will need to be very transparent and forthcoming with your strategic partner in order to make it work. Clarify expectations, be transparent and forthcoming when you share information and goals. Treat this information as confidential. Schedule regular meetings (in person or virtually) and conversations as this is essential to maintain the health of this strategic partnership. Your investment of time, money and energy will largely determine the success of this partnership. Build something together. Back each other up. Stage #6 Lifelong Friend It’s amazing to reach this pinnacle level of friendship – one that endures the test of time and all trials and tribulations. Friendships are connections that go beyond circumstance and transactions. These people have your back. They are there for you when you need them and will help you both personally and professionally. They are forthcoming and give you the feedback that other people may be afraid to give you. They have been to your home. You have been to their home. You may have even taken vacations, trips or outings with these friends. You are comfortable doing business with them, and sharing the more personal aspects of your life. If you asked them, they would drop everything to be there for you. You have done the same for them. Actions you can take at this stage: Don’t take them for granted. This is a significant relationship in your life. Don’t let them drift away. Make it a priority to connect regularly with them, and to spend quality time together. Be loyal and faithful to them. If you are in town, make an effort to stop by and visit. Pick up the phone and reach out. Even if you get their voice mail, hearing your voice will make them feel better. Send cards, write letters, share photos, create memories together. You are there to lift each other up. Encourage, support and motivate each other! In sickness and in health, you are there for them. Put these ideas into action Review your professional and personal networks. Ask yourself which people are in which stages of the networking funnel of opportunity. Are you happy where they are, or do you think there is more (or less) potential with that person. Realize that you cannot move everyone through this funnel at the same time. You will most surely get a major clog. Decide which relationships deserve more nurturing – more of your time and attention. Then start applying your relationship-building skills…at work, at home, in your community. Your relationships will not only determine how much social capital you have, but also how much happiness and belonging you experience. Need more help leveraging your professional network to grow your career and business? 1. Read my book, Networking Ahead 3rd edition . Available in paperback at Amazon and eBook ( Kindle and Nook ). 2. Become a bold, more fearless networker by enrolling in my 8-week group mentoring virtual program, The Fearless Leader – designed to help you to get your career, business, and life back on track. Feel the fear and network anyway! Learn more at www.TheFearlessLeader.com 3. Invite me to be your guest speaker to your networking group, or hire me as your keynote speaker for your upcoming conference or meeting. 4. Hire me as an expert trainer to improve your team’s skills and confidence in the critical area of networking and relationship building. Click here to see my training programs and webinars.
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