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You’ve heard the expression, “All Systems Go.” It indicates a state of readiness for immediate action. This is how my fearless virtual assistant, Samantha (Sam) McCracken makes me think-feel-do. I believe the phrase “All Systems Go” originated from space flight control centers and was the confident response given when everything was ready to launch. I can only imagine how many people, steps, procedures, systems, tests and trials, and investment preceded that confident declaration of readiness. As woman-owned business that has been operational since 2005, I cannot even remember how many different methods and systems I have experimented with. I seem to have a propensity for complexity and personalization. Perhaps it’s how my brain works. I am not an analytic, systems thinker. I am more of a creative entrepreneur type. I remember writing my first book Networking Ahead for Business about the importance of networking follow-up. In my research for the book I quoted another expert who narrowed in on what I was missing – the system. Opening my own book this morning and finding the passage, I am reminded of the importance of systems even with routine activities such as professional networking. Taking my own advice from my own book (first published in 2010 and updated in 2017), I built a networking follow-up system. But it wasn’t efficient. It wasn’t fast. And it didn’t allow me to scale my efforts and impact. In short, my system wasn’t particularly powerful. I was still bogged down with all of the follow-up tasks and unable to leverage the fearless networking I was capable of. So I took the next local step and I outsourced some of my administrative tasks to a Virtual Assistant. Basically I dumped my messy system onto to the VA in hopes that they would transform it into something magical. It was good and helpful but I was still missing something important. I was missing the SYSTEM. “Whoever said ‘the fortune is in the follow-up’ first could have been a billionaire if they only got a penny for every time someone said it. And yet, they’ve only got it half right. Follow-up is important, that’s true. But the real fortune is in the follow-up system ." ~ Lisa Robbin Young And then the pandemic came along and we all had to learn new ways of delivering our work and value to our clients. I took a course with David Newman called High Fee Mastery. It was a game-changing investment for me. This is where I learned the 8-week group mentoring virtual model of delivering leadership development training and coaching. Within a few months The Fearless Leader™ 8-week group mentoring cohort program was launched. It was fantastic to find a new brand, platform and purpose. My business service offerings had transformed to 100% virtual delivery. I was (and still am) very happy about that! But tasks were taking too long to complete. For example, onboarding new cohort members was a manual nightmare. My SYSTEMS were scattered. David Newman didn’t seem to have that problem. I wondered what he had that I didn’t have. Okay, let’s be honest, David is fearless, gifted, driven, and Uber confident in what he does and how he does it. He knows his value. David also had someone quite talented behind the scenes. I asked him to please introduce me to his operations manager (and my future fearless virtual assistant) SamMcCracken, business owner of Sharp Business Support. Find the right people to create the right SYSTEMS. After my first consultation call with Sam, I immediately sensed that she would bring tremendous value to my business, my life and my work day. I still remember the three questions she asked me to think about and write a list of (paraphrasing here): 1. things you don’t have time for 2. things you don’t enjoy doing 3. things that need to get done but are not the best use of your time I whipped out my list and shared it with Sam. It became our initial project list. Within a very short period of time, I could see the systematic improvements in my business operations. Things were easier and faster to get done. Less rework. Fewer steps. Sam quickly got me set up on new technology platforms including Airtable, Zapier, Jotform, Calendly, Lead pages, Squarespace, Mighty Networks, Stripe, MailChimp, Google Docs, Loom, ROCK – just to name a few. And although we have many pieces, they all fit and flow together. It’s amazing looking back how many new things I’ve been exposed to and how much more I’ve been able to accomplish…with Sam McCracken at my side. That’s why she is known as “Done For You Tech.” SYSTEMS can make work more fun. Sam sets up my systems, optimizes them, and then teaches me how to use them. We collaborate and communicate daily. Best of all she is a delight to work with. Pleasant, professional, calm, creative, solution-oriented, highly skilled, fast as all get out. And best of all, there is absolutely no drama. What used to burden me now brings me joy and reward. I have to chalk that up to Sam McCracken. She’s my secret weapon…and I’m happy to share her with you. Did I mention that she lives in Spain? The time zone difference has never been a problem. She recently sent me a few favorite pictures of her. I like this one best. It says to me, “With the right systems and the right people on your success team, you can work anywhere anytime, even at a coastal cafe in Spain should you choose.” With Sam McCracken by your side, you too could operate like this! Is this the world’s longest recommendation, or what? Please forgive me if I am overly effusive (gushing even) about how pleased I am to work with Sam McCracken. I want her to continue to grow and succeed in her business. Just today I recommended her to my colleague Cheryl Jones of Thriving With Cheryl Jones and her new podcast Thrive 55+ . If you are an established coaching/training professional like me, spending your precious time on tedious operations and technology – when you could be out there transforming people, Sam McCracken can help you streamline, automate and grow your business. (Note: I have lifted this from Sam’s LinkedIn profile. ) There are two main things she helps her clients with: 1. They need an online course built for them, but they don’t know which tool(s) to use, or they don’t have the time. Sam can build an online course in as little as ONE DAY, with my VIP Day package. It’s true – ONE DAY! 2. Operations aren’t as smooth as they could be. There’s a lot of “stuff” going on, and things could definitely be streamlined. Sam implements systems to organize and automate many of the business operations, resulting in higher accuracy, response times, and profits. Trust me it works! For those of you who are systems-thinker and want to carefully analyze whether or not you are ready for a Virtual Assistant, Sam prepared this outline for my blog to help you assess your need for a Virtual Assistant: Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business by Sam McCracken, owner of Sharp Business Support Introduction Setting the Stage: The Challenges of a Disorganized Business Identifying Common Issues: Lack of Organization, Inefficient Processes, and Time Drain The Role of Virtual Assistants (VAs) How Virtual Assistants Can Be the Key to Organizational Transformation Choosing the Right Virtual Assistant Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business Implementing Effective Systems Unleashing Efficiency: How Automation Can Save Time and Resources Building a Foundation: The Importance of Well-Designed Systems and Processes Regaining Control: How VAs Help Business Owners Reclaim Their Time This outline would flush out into a great eBook. Maybe Sam will produce it someday (probably in ONE DAY knowing her). But do you really need an eBook to tell you what you already know that you need. If you are anything like me, you know you need help developing a SYSTEM for your business. Carpe Diem. Let’s get going. With Sam McCracken by your side, you too will be All Systems Go!

I hope it’s not too late to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR. May 2024 bring you vibrant health, happiness, joy and fulfillment of your professional and personal endeavors. I’m curious what goals have you set for yourself for 2024? What do you hope to accomplish? Where will you put your energy and attention? I have set some fearless goals for 2024 including finish building a new house (a dream project that my husband and I have been working on solidly for the past 2 years. Time to move in already!), launching a new book called Fearless Female Leaders , with coauthor Rosemary Paetow. This book will be the first in a series of Fearless Leader Books™. And of course, I want to expand my signature program, The Fearless Leader™ . I will do that by building out my team of trained facilitators who can bring the program to move people around the world. Personally, I would also like to resume traveling and see more of the world. I have my eyes set on Costa Rica and Portugal this year. And, I want to be there for my aging parents and in-laws. That’s primarily what has driven me to select SHOWING UP as my 2024 Word of the Year. I want to show up as my best self every day, everywhere. I intend to show up for myself and for my family. It’s a tall intention, and one that I will no doubt fail and disappoint often. But every morning I ask myself “How will show up today?” I even keep a daily journal to record how I actually show up. So far, I like my chosen Word of the Year and I believe it will serve me well in the remaining 349 days or 8,369 hours in 2024. I have plenty of time and opportunity to show up…and so do you! What are your fearless goals for 2024? You might be wondering what I mean by fearless goals? A goal is a goal is a goal, right? When I think of fearless goals I imagine something big and important, that really matters to me, that I really want to accomplish for me… and that scares the living daylights out of me. When I think of my fearless goals for the future, I am reminded of a quote by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” What is so important to you that you won’t let something like fear stop you? Consider these areas of your life When selecting fearless goals for 2024, consider these different aspects of your life: 1. Professional/occupational 2. Personal 3. Health 4. Family 5. Travel / Adventure 6. Personal Brand 7. Leadership 8. Other I hosted a recent virtual event called Fearlessly Informal Coffee Chat and we had 23 people attend. In addition to getting to know each other through networking, we discussed two questions in breakout groups: 1. What’s your Word of the Year for 2024? Why did you choose it? How do you see this playing out? Who will help hold you accountable to this intention? 2. What fearless goals have you set for yourself in 2024? Why do these matter so much to you? What strategies will you use to overcome fear and ensure you make progress towards your goals (even if baby steps) Formalizing your 2024 fearless goals I invite you to give these above two questions some reflection before the New Year’s spirit gets away from us and we’re in the grind of doing, doing, doing. Why note write a passage of intention in your journal. Share your goals with trusted people in your life and ask them to hold you accountable. You could write a New Year’s Letter and share it with your network. That’s what my mentor and friend, Arthur Samuel Joseph did. And it moved me profoundly. Who is Arthur? He is one of the world’s foremost authorities on the Human Voice. He is a 7-time author, Master Teacher and creator of the Vocal Awareness Institute. He has coached, trained, supported thousands of world-class athletes, artists, leaders and performers of all kinds, including people from the business world, like me. In fact, I am currently enrolled in his one-year Vocal Awareness Mastermind Group. It is such a privilege to be in the same room as Arthur, even if it’s virtually! With his permission, I am sharing with you his beautiful and inspired words about the importance of LEGACY – something we all need to be thinking about and doing more carefully. LEGACY: Arthur’s Annual New Year’s Letter January 10, 2024 As I write this New Year’s letter, I approach a landmark in my life. I will be 78 this month. The landmark is that I begin my 60th year of teaching! Because of this, this year’s letter takes on even greater personal significance for me. In preparation for this creative moment, I have done a great deal of reflection re-reading many pieces I have written in the past and thinking deeply about the future—not just mine—the future for all of us. As a country, the U.S. is perhaps experiencing the most challenging time since our Founding Fathers created America. Wherever those of you in the world who will read this letter live, perhaps your country/your society is also struggling. The ‘overarcing ‘purpose of this letter is to support each of us in being and doing our very best for our Selves, our families and as we choose, the societies in which we live. In this regard, since the creation of Vocal Awareness, one fundamental goal has always been Personal Sovereignty: To help all those I work with to achieve their own enlightenment and enjoy their own empowerment. As I continue deepening and evolving within my Self and within the Work throughout the decades, I have come to recognize and respect that of course, as I have always said, ‘Voice is Power’—that When we Own our Voice, We Own our Power’. In my evolution, I have come to grasp what this really means—beyond the obvious—Voice is vibration—it is energy. To enable us to live in the sovereignty of who we are capable of being—’our supreme excellence’—we want to be able to integrate our very vibration, the energy of who we are in full Conscious Awareness in everything we do, everything we feel; everything we say —as integrally as mindfully as honestly as possible within our Self, in our very thoughts and with whomever we speak. As one of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke said over a hundred years ago, “I want to unfold. I do not want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.” Here is another translation of Rilke’s same poem: “I want to unfold. Let no place in me hold itself closed, for wherever I am closed, I am false.” Whatever interpretation/translation one reads, the goal is the same—to live in the truth of who we are—doing and being our very best every single day. Living in this way can enable each of us to truly fulfill our legacy, our promise and through the vibration and energy we carry forth—not simply feel empowered, but actually, be empowered . In turn, in this precarious time rather than being victimized by it, we can instead rise above and perhaps through our Voice, our vibration, our very energy, bring others along with us, enabling our Selves, our community, our families to be healthier, stronger, more compassionate and loving, making the world a better place because we are in it. In preparing for today, one of my readings was to go back to my first book The Sound of the Soul from 1996. The following excerpt is from the final chapter: ‘Vocal Awareness: Creating a New Mythology.’ “…Vocal Awareness and the dissemination of its principles is my vocation, my calling, my lifelong artistic and professional passion. Why do I tell you this? Not because I think Vocal Awareness will be as central to your life as it is to mine, but because I would like you to see Vocal Awareness as fundamental to your life as breathing and communicating are…The practice of Vocal Awareness can be a bulwark against the changing tides of life. It offers a metaphorical, spiritual, and practical structure upon which, in your way and through your power, you can build a life of honor and success…I hope as you [finish reading this letter], you will see your Self as embarking upon the most exhilarating chapter of your new life…one that has brought you closer to your Self… I so love living a life guided by and supported with the Conscious Awareness that Vocal Awareness shows me. I merely have to require my Self to surrender to its ethic because Vocal Awareness has taught me so well how to be the best of my Self possible at all times. I long ago recognized that there are no shortcuts, that, in fact, the only way out is through …Continue your ascent. Continue soaring. Feel the full investiture of your Self in every breath, in every sound and with the fullest integration of mind/body/spirit.” The Sound of the Soul closes with a quote from a poem by the Nobel Laureate, Seamus Heaney. As this poem was so seminal in my personal evolution, I quoted it before and am passing the last stanza on once again as part of My Legacy as I begin my 60th year of teaching as it explains why God gave me Vocal Awareness at such an early stage of my life as my Journey was just beginning. “…I rhyme to see myself. To set the darkness echoing.” I was given Vocal Awareness to see, heal my Self, claim my Self, better serve God, the Work and by extension help others do the same. May this year’s letter contribute to your legacy and be as a beacon that illuminates your path, your Journey, helping you in even some small way reach the fulfillment of your Deeper Self as you claim the life you deserve. Here’s to a bountiful 2024 and beyond! Sincerely, Arthur

Did you know that the nemesis known as Procrastination cannot withstand the light and power of Accountability? Here’s how to make Accountability your superpower in 2023. New Year – New Goals There’s something magical about the beginning of a new calendar year. A fresh start – new possibilities. It can make you feel like you can do ANYTHING – just like superheroes! But, there are no superheroes, and life is incredibly demanding. The sensible part of us knows that and realizes that we shouldn’t fool ourselves into thinking things will be different just because the calendar has ticked over to a new year. Goal setting alone won’t make our dreams come true. Unless we do something different. As they say, No Change, no change . So why is it that one of the most common new years activities is to set new goals and make resolutions? Perhaps it is because it’s fun to dream about positive change. It’s exciting to envision a new you, one that is slimmer, healthier, happier, and infinitely more successful, etc. But deep down we all know that making big, sustainable change happen is only possible through discipline, action, support, consistent effort, sacrifice, etc. etc. Well, that’s not easy nor is it fun. Maybe that’s why so many people abandon their new year’s goals and resolutions so quickly. So, what’s missing? In one word: Accountability. Here’s a compelling excerpt from Ohio State University blog post: “Plenty of people set goals, but few create a way to be accountable for them. Studies have shown that people who write a goal and identify a way to be accountable for it are twice as likely to achieve that goal than someone who thinks about it or writes it down. Goal accountability means that you are responsible not only to set and achieve goals but to find some way to be accountable to someone other than yourself.” Source: https://fisher.osu.edu/blogs/leadreadtoday/blog/new-years-resolution-accountability It’s true! Accountability is often the missing ingredient in goal setting. It’s like accidently leaving out the baking soda in your favorite cake recipe. It fails to rise. Your results are flat and disappointing. Rethinking Accountability When thinking more deeply about such things, I often find it helpful to consult the online dictionary. What is the meaning and origin of these words and concepts that we so commonly speak? Definitions (sources: Cambridge English Dictionary and good old Google) Goal Setting: the process of deciding what you want to achieve or what you want someone else to achieve over a particular period Accountable: the fact of being responsible for what you do and able to give a satisfactory reason for it, or the degree to which this happens. Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions Synonyms for Accountable: responsible, liable, answerable, obligated, indebted, amenable, obliged, beholden Antonyms for Accountable: irresponsible, exempt, immune, unaccountable, nonaccountable I am aware that the word Accountability (like the word Discipline) carries a negative connotation. It can feel punitive and harsh. We see these words appear often in the context of criminal justice or a political scandal. And while “lying is not a crime” you may (or may not) be held accountable for lying on your resume when running for let’s say, Congress. Being successful should not just be about avoiding accountability (aka, not getting caught). Accountability could and should be used more positivity and proactively. It is a desired attribute we should encourage and cultivate in ourselves, our team, and our families. Maybe we could even think about it as a habit? What can accountability do for you? I believe that accountability can be your superpower! It can turn an ordinary professional into a high achiever. It can be help you fend off the procrastination, excuses, and fear that have been slowing down your progress and postponing your goals. As Bob Proctor was fond of saying, “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.” Most people have plenty of commitment, they are short on glue. Hence, no results. The hardest part about accountability is trying to do it all by yourself. You will need an accountability partner (or buddy) to help you in accessing this superpower. Don’t keep it a secret and don’t try to go it alone. ASK FOR HELP from someone you trust. Ask them to help hold you accountable for what you say is important in your life. I like to think of accountability as insurance for my goals and success. What will this require of you? Like other forms of insurance, accountability comes with a premium and deductibles. Accountability will require you to do a few uncomfortable things at first, including: 1. trust someone 2. be vulnerable 3. embrace transparency 4. admit your failings and shortcomings 5. be honest with yourself 6. ask for help But the good news is that Accountability will become more natural and normal the more you do it. It is possible to make Accountability a good habit in your life. It’s good insurance to have – accountability will help protect your assets and your future success! More Accountability = More Success! To help myself and others in my network tap into the superpower of accountability, I have created a new program called Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking monthly virtual support group for aspiring fearless leaders who want to stay on track and build momentum in their careers and lives. Our motto is “More Accountability = More Success!” What is it all about? We meet the first Thursday of each month on Zoom for a 90-minutes to get clear and transparent about what we are each doing (or not doing so well) to move towards our stated goals. We use a proprietary Accountability Habit Tracker to increase awareness and practices that support our goal success. Every month, participants in the Fearless Accountability program identify and share with their monthly accountability buddy 3 action goals that they will complete during that month using the Action of Agreement tool. I have used this tool for years with clients who have taken my presentation skills training classes. Your leadership journey will require you to continuously set new goals and make investments to develop yourself. We also use a proprietary Habit Tracker to make sure you have the awareness and best practices to support your development and success. Free Helpful Tool As my New Year’s gift to you, please DOWNLOAD the tool and use it! Tool – Agreement of Action for Accountable Leaders If you are serious about reaching your goals and building momentum in your career and life, then I invite you to join the Fearless Accountability group. Space is limited to 20 participants. Next team meeting is January 5, 2023 from 11am-12:30pm EST.It’s affordable and it’s fun! (really!) We have room for a few more people. How about you? Enroll at www.FearlessAccountability.com Accountability is calling to you. It needs you. And we’re here to pick up that call and help you MOVE FORWARD in the direction of your goals and dreams. Let’s make 2023 a year we can all be proud of!

December can be a challenging month. We make the assumption that business leaders are very busy and unavailable with quarterly and annual year end business push. Like us, we know that working professionals are consumed not only with their demanding jobs, but with the holiday season. We make the false assumption that they are not open to hearing from us. We don’t want to burden them. So, we don’t call. We don’t reach out. We go quiet. And we let an entire month slip by. It’s a bad decision and one that will cost you time, momentum, and opportunity. It’s time to make those Courage Calls! I’ve made more than my fair share of courage calls and they have paid of big time. Not only in winning new business (yes, getting YES’s during the crazy month of December), but also winning respect and faith in myself and my abilities. Does that sound like something you’d like to do? If so, you should consider joining my new program, Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking support group for fearless leaders (and aspiring fearless leaders) who want to STAY on track. We meet virtually on the first Thursday of every month to help hold each other accountable to our commitments and goals. We don’t allow each other to wiggle out of things with excuses or fear or avoidance. We don’t try to impress each other. We practice shame-free tough love and support. We even have a digital habit tracker to ensure we are practicing the behaviors and mindset that leads to success. Our motto is: “More Accountability = More Success.” We believe that accountability and success are intertwined. You can’t have one without the other.  Find out more at www.FearlessAccountabilty.com Here’s to building greater MOMENTUM in 2023, making those courage calls, and following through on the actions that will lead us to achieving our goals and fulfilling our potential!

It’s funny how great news can sometimes turn your whole life upside down and cause you great consternation. For me that moment came in a planning meeting with our financial advisor. At our request, she was running a few scenarios to see how and when we might be ready for retirement. She shared some of her assumptions, including the one where she assumed we would retire in January. I said to her, “you mean this coming January? Like in 5 weeks?” She said, “Yes. And looks like you can do it. If you want to, you can begin your retirement this January.” That conversation was 10 months ago, and my head is still spinning. On the one hand, I was very excited (and relieved) that we could begin to draw down on our retirement savings to pay for our living expenses. On the other hand, I was scared, confused and uncertain about what this transition would mean to my business? my work? my brand? my identity? (And to be completely honest, my EGO). I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to “retire” in the classic sense. There were many restless nights. I experienced a level of angst that surprised me. How could I be so unhappy with such a blessing? My husband thought I was nuts. That’s when I realized planning for retirement and being ready to retire is NOT just about the money. There’s an emotional and mental piece to this big life transitions. There’s real fear. There’s concern over loss of identity, relevance, meaning, purpose. What will become of America’s Marketing Motivator if I retire? Who’s going want to hire me when I tell them I’ve retired. Maybe that’s why I’ve had trouble writing this blog post. Would you believe I started it last December??? The original title I envisioned for this blog post was “Stepping into a New Arena.” My final title is a bit more truthful – “I’m not done yet.” Then I remembered my Word-of-the-Year for 2022. My focus word was EVOLVE. I was evolving and that means change. I found two definitions of evolve in the online dictionary: develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complex form. give off (gas or heat) I guess I’m in for both. Changing, morphing, and yes, outgassing. Better out than in Shrek always says. For the first few months, I tried to figure out myself what this transition would or should mean to me. I didn’t get very far. Still uncertain and uncomfortable. Then I reached out to Wendy Green to see if she could help guide me. Wendy is the host of the Hey,Boomer Live Show and podcast and she’s a graduate of my Fearless Leader program. Full Disclosure: I am a member of her Advisory Panel and have been helping to guide her as she grows her new business and brand. I’d been listening with great joy to her weekly shows live streamed on Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. And Wendy asked for our feedback about launching a new 6-week group workshop called What’s Next?, I thought it was a smart business move. When Wendy shared the mission of the What’s Next? program which is to support evolving adults as they shift from full-time work to their next chapter , I suddenly realized that I would be the ideal prospect for this new program. It was something about the word “evolving” that called to me. I needed this! And so, I enrolled. I committed to the What’s Next? 6-session group workshop. It’s an odd feeling to switch chairs. When the teacher becomes the student. When the consultant becomes the client. There’s a certain level of vulnerability and trust that you must create and honor. And with Wendy Green now as MY coach, MY mentor, MY guide, I quickly realized that I was in excellent hands. I’d like to share 8 things I loved most about my experience in the What’s Next? program with Wendy Green. It was a truly excellent program. Real & relevant. It came as the exact right time in my life. (Okay, it could have been useful a few years before, but I wasn’t aware enough to know that I needed it.) Wendy Green is a highly skilled professional coach. She is intuitive, compassionate, and pushy when she needs to be. This program provided me with practical tools and valuable resources. My favorite being the Life Themes Profiler assessment, and book, Transitions: Making Sense of Life Changes (40th anniversary edition!) by William and Susan Bridges. I met new people in this program that I would otherwise never have known. Observing, supporting, and getting to know them and their What’s Next? journey was extremely helpful. I now know that I’m not alone in this struggle. I came away from the course with a six-month and a 1-year action plan. This has provided me with great comfort and clarity. I review it regularly and have been able to celebrate a few WINS. I’m building momentum in my What’s Next? phase of life. Accountability. Wendy has stayed in touch with me, sending me emails reminding me of what I said I wanted in the next chapter of my life and to see how I’m doing. She hasn’t forgotten about me. This business of transitioning takes time, and you will need ongoing support. Great value. The fee for the course is ridiculously affordable. An easy YES. And the value that you get out of this experience is truly priceless. If you pressed me for an ROI figure, I would estimate….hmmm…at least 1000%. Yah, that’s about right. Now, I sleep better at night. I’m not done yet. Are you? As a result of taking the What’s Next? program and doing the reflection and work of transition, I have more clarity about my vision, mission, and purpose and how I want things to roll moving forward. I’ve decided that “I’m Not Done Yet.” (I just love saying that. It’s so affirming and energizing.) I suppose it is also true to say that I’m stepping into a new arena – one of my own design and choosing. Now I see more clearly what’s possible in this next chapter of my life and I’m excited by it. It will include a multitude of things that bring me JOY such as mentoring others through The Fearless Leader program. I have also decided the things I will let go of and what I won’t do. (Wait for it? I am no longer doing keynote speaking. That decision even surprised me.) And I do want to smell the roses, tend my garden, take long walks daily, and take on small projects, like building a new house (okay that’s a HUGE project). If Anthony Fauci (age 81) and Serena Williams (age 40) can do this thing called retire AND still have purpose, relevance, passion and goals, then so can I. So can you. We just need to face the fear (of retirement) and do it anyway. Get the Help You Need to Navigate Transitions It took me 10 months to finish this blog I started way back when I got the “great news” that I could retire financially. I couldn’t do it on my own. I was struggling. It was mentally and emotionally confusing and painful. But I’m here to tell you now that I am getting through this transition just fine. But I know that are others out there who are struggling with the idea of retirement. And they aren’t dealing with it head on. They are delaying the examination until it hits them square in the face. Bam. So… If you are a mid-life working professional like me (yes, I turned 60!) who is heading towards retirement (or recently retired) but are not sure what you want in this next phase of your life, then I recommend you reach out to Wendy and learn more about the What’s Next? group coaching program. And to the financial planners who are working with clients all day long to help prepare them financially for retirement, PLEASE let them know about Wendy Green and her program. Your clients will need more than just their 401K funds to enter retirement. They need other levels of support and guidance. Don’t try to be their therapist. Introduce them to Wendy Green, the Boomer Coach. And to the companies , leaders, bosses who have people in their companies who will be nearing retirement soon, consider gifting them more than just a nice going away party and a pretty but useless retirement clock. Here’s a brilliant idea: Why not hire Wendy Green to facilitate a private cohort group of the What’s Next program for the pre- and post-retirees at your company. After all, they’ve given the best of years to grow your business, they deserve to be supported more fully as they leave your company.

I’ve been thinking a lot of gender equity these days. Well, actually gender inequity. Perhaps it was prompted by the daily news barrage or pending legislation that threatens to strip women and minorities of their constitutional rights. Or maybe it was from watching TV shows that made me dream of a better world in which women and girls can rise to the very top of their professions…and thrive. Good fictional writers can help us envision a world that is full of possibilities. For example, my husband and I just finished watching all four seasons of the Amazon Prime original series, Mozart in the Jungle . And we just loved it. The story was inspired by Blair Tindall’s 2005 memoir, Mozart in the Jungle: Sex, Drugs, and Classical Music. Tindall, an accomplished oboist, spent 23 years as a professional musician in New York City, playing with such groups as the New York Philharmonic, Orpheus Chamber Orchestra, and the Orchestra of St. Luke’s, presenting a critically acclaimed solo debut at Carnegie Recital Hall, and earning a jazz Grammy nomination. Indeed, she had reached the pinnacle of success in her field. In the last episode of the fourth and final season, the charismatic conductor, maestro Rodrigo de Souza, played by actor Gael García Bernal, skips out on a big performance, but not before he hands the leadership reigns over to a very talented young musician and aspiring conductor, Hailey Rutledge. A woman.  Watch this short video, as actor Lola Clementine Kirke, who plays Hailey Rutledge in the TV series, conducts an ensemble premiering a new piece written by a female composer. This inspiring performance gives me the chills every time I watch it.

At a networking skills CPE class that I facilitated a few years ago, an accountant asked me a very insightful question: How do you turn a new contact into a meaningful connection? That got me thinking more deeply about what’s involved in actually forming relationships – the kind that can really help you advance your career, business and life. I sketched out my initial thoughts on a flip chart right there in the class (see image to the right), but I knew that the question deserved more thought. This flip chart has been displayed in my office for the past 3 months. [note: no PowerPoint slide would have had that kind of staying power] How do you measure networking success? In today’s age of digital media, many of us are under the false impression that our social media friends are “real” friends. Perhaps some are, but most of them are just contacts. People may have randomly clicked the “Connect” or “Add Friend” button. (what I call the “lazy button”). If they are a friend of a friend, then they pass the test and you accept their invitation. As of this moment in time, I have 1,518 friends on Facebook. Does that make me more liked and accepted than the person who has only 500? Does it make me less successful than someone who has accumulated 50,000 friends on Facebook? Are these real friends or followers or just random strangers? What about LinkedIn? I get invitations every day from strangers, most using the default invitation message. Some invites have no picture to go with a name. Is it safe to let them into your professional network? Some say that the more online connections one has, the more career and business opportunities you can create? Right? Maybe not… The Funnel of Networking Opportunity What I love about the networking process is that it has the potential to turn strangers into life-long friends. Of course this takes an incredible amount of time, energy, alignment, and good fortune to move from the top of the funnel to the bottom of the funnel. Not every relationship will move through to the concentrated end point. Nor should they. Notice how this networking funnel has open spaces or leaks. Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime. A networking relationship, like any relationship, is “at-will” and requires both parties to make the investment of time, energy, and mutual respect to maintain and grow. Let me walk you through my thoughts as to how networking relationships migrate through this metaphorical funnel and what you can do to develop your new connections to the next stages of value. Stage #1 – Stranger We all start out as strangers. People who don’t yet know each other. You might have something in common, such as a common friend, the same school or community, or maybe even you come from the same race – the human race. So even though you don’t know each other, you don’t have to fear strangers. As Will Rogers once said, “A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.” Actions you can take at this stage: Reach out and introduce yourself. Be civil, polite, and friendly. Don’t be creepy and get too familiar too soon. Don’t stalk. (remember that LinkedIn is not a dating site). Allow this stranger to choose to accept your invitation or decline. If you really want to meet them, ask a mutual friend to introduce you. Stage #2 – Contact You’ve made contact either on-line or in person, but still you don’t know a lot about each other. Your brain hasn’t yet found a place to file both the face and the name, but if things continue, you might just open up a mental file folder for this new person. You might find that you start to run into each other at events (online or in person) and you need to be reminded of their name. For all intents and purposes, they are a number to you. Don’t expect too much at this stage. You don’t have enough relationship equity to ask for anything…yet. Actions you can take at this stage: You need to make the effort to get to know them. Spend some time researching their background on line. Find out what common connections you have with this person. Where and how do your paths cross? If you are feeling brave, reach out online or via telephone to re-introduce yourself and spend a few minutes to learn more about them. Get their full contact details and send a personalized invitation to connect to the online network that they prefer. Stage #3 Connection By good fortune, you have discovered that you have something in common – perhaps a shared experience, common friends, common goals or beliefs. You can now relate to each other and this starts to build the rapport process. You can laugh, smile and converse more easily with this connection. You start to notice things about them that you appreciate. You suspect that you might be able to help them or they might be able to help you move towards your goals. You enjoy their company and are curious to learn more about each other. Actions you can take at this stage: Make note of your conversation and what they shared with you. Send them a personalized follow up, noting these items and demonstrating that you paid attention and have a genuine interest in them. If you haven’t yet captured their contact details, please do so at this time. Make sure you are connected online and can easily communicate. If this connection is really interesting to you, invite them to have virtual networking coffee chat with you. I use Calendly scheduling system to make scheduling easy and automated. It’s linked to my Google calendar so I can avoid scheduling conflicts. Also no more back and forth scheduling hell. Or maybe you might invite them to join you at a networking event that you plan to attend (virtual or in person). If you see an article or other resource that you think would interest them, send it. If you promised to make any introductions for them, do so promptly and professionally. Stage #4 Relationship Time has passed and you have both invested in this relationship. You have spent quality time together. You know some details of their professional and personal life that they have shared with you. You respect and honor the confidence and trust that they have bestowed upon you. You genuinely want to see them succeed and fulfill their goals. They wish you the best as well. At this stage, you find yourself freely giving and receiving feedback, introductions, guidance, and help. You can easily pick up the telephone and speak to them. You might even reach out to them on behalf of another person. You have established relationship equity and you want to protect and nurture it. Actions you can take at this stage: Stay in regular touch (at least every 2 months of so). Inquire about their family and the things that are important to them. Don’t just talk business. Get personal and show that you care. Send them birthday cards. Celebrate their successes. Communicate actively (telephone and face to face), and passively (social media, email, written correspondence). Make an effort to help them achieve their goals, through facilitated networking introductions and supporting the causes that they champion. Have breakfast/lunch or dinner with them at least once/year. Stage #5 Strategic Partner Your relationship has entered this exciting next stage. You have created enough trust, understanding and compatibility that it makes sense to align your careers/businesses for mutual growth. Perhaps there is opportunity to refer each other to clients and prospects. Maybe you’d like to evolve this connection into a formal mentoring relationship. Perhaps you might even consider starting a business together or collaborating on new ventures, while maintaining your legal/financial independence. It may be advisable to document your agreements in writing and have an attorney review it. Discuss plainly your vision for how this partnership will work and what processes you will follow. Actions you can take at this stage: If you sense that there is strategic potential in this relationship, invite the other person to consider formalizing your relationship. You will need to be very transparent and forthcoming with your strategic partner in order to make it work. Clarify expectations, be transparent and forthcoming when you share information and goals. Treat this information as confidential. Schedule regular meetings (in person or virtually) and conversations as this is essential to maintain the health of this strategic partnership. Your investment of time, money and energy will largely determine the success of this partnership. Build something together. Back each other up. Stage #6 Lifelong Friend It’s amazing to reach this pinnacle level of friendship – one that endures the test of time and all trials and tribulations. Friendships are connections that go beyond circumstance and transactions. These people have your back. They are there for you when you need them and will help you both personally and professionally. They are forthcoming and give you the feedback that other people may be afraid to give you. They have been to your home. You have been to their home. You may have even taken vacations, trips or outings with these friends. You are comfortable doing business with them, and sharing the more personal aspects of your life. If you asked them, they would drop everything to be there for you. You have done the same for them. Actions you can take at this stage: Don’t take them for granted. This is a significant relationship in your life. Don’t let them drift away. Make it a priority to connect regularly with them, and to spend quality time together. Be loyal and faithful to them. If you are in town, make an effort to stop by and visit. Pick up the phone and reach out. Even if you get their voice mail, hearing your voice will make them feel better. Send cards, write letters, share photos, create memories together. You are there to lift each other up. Encourage, support and motivate each other! In sickness and in health, you are there for them. Put these ideas into action Review your professional and personal networks. Ask yourself which people are in which stages of the networking funnel of opportunity. Are you happy where they are, or do you think there is more (or less) potential with that person. Realize that you cannot move everyone through this funnel at the same time. You will most surely get a major clog. Decide which relationships deserve more nurturing – more of your time and attention. Then start applying your relationship-building skills…at work, at home, in your community. Your relationships will not only determine how much social capital you have, but also how much happiness and belonging you experience. Need more help leveraging your professional network to grow your career and business? 1. Read my book, Networking Ahead 3rd edition . Available in paperback at Amazon and eBook ( Kindle and Nook ). 2. Become a bold, more fearless networker by enrolling in my 8-week group mentoring virtual program, The Fearless Leader – designed to help you to get your career, business, and life back on track. Feel the fear and network anyway! Learn more at www.TheFearlessLeader.com 3. Invite me to be your guest speaker to your networking group, or hire me as your keynote speaker for your upcoming conference or meeting.  4. Hire me as an expert trainer to improve your team’s skills and confidence in the critical area of networking and relationship building. Click here to see my training programs and webinars.

Is it true what they say about every generation criticizing the one that follows? If so, how can we prevent ageism from creeping into our thoughts and polluting our relationships? What can we do to foster and engage in more ageless conversations in our workplaces and beyond? I ask these questions because I recently had an unpleasant experience while attending a virtual networking group. I’ve been processing the experience over the last few days and felt compelled to write a blog about it. If nothing else, but to get it out of my system. To set the context: I attended a very informative, interactive and professionally moderated webinar on entrepreneurship. They shared ideas and recommendations for accessing capital in order to grow your business. They discussed the importance of having a business plan and knowing how to talk about your business to bankers and other financiers. I was taking notes! After the formal event was concluded, they invited the participants to hang around and do some networking. Their web platform (which was very cool) allowed people to select one of six networking rooms to virtually walk in on. I decided to hang around for this post-event networking so that I could meet some of the other people attending the virtual event. “What the heck,” I thought to myself. “I could meet some interesting new people, expand and diversify my network. And it might just be fun.” It started out okay. There didn’t seem to be a facilitator or structure or ground rules. Just 6 strangers put into a virtual room to figure it out. We started off with an easy ice-breaker, “Where are you calling in from today?” Then we graduated to “What was your big takeaway from today’s panel discussion?” After that, things started going south. One participant began to heavily complain about millennials. Apparently based on his experience with his five adult children (who apparently failed to launch), he felt justified in trash-talking the entire generation. We tried to reason with him and offer other perspectives, but he would have none of it. He dug into his age bias and continued to generalize and condemn young professionals. His commentary and behavior were so unsavory that I felt compelled to intervene and redirect the conversation. I could feel my heart rate increase. I thought about “leaving” the virtual room to get away. But something held me there – the need to say something, to be candid, to call out unjust bias. I mustered the social and intellectual courage I needed to say what needed to be said. With a calm and collected voice, I said to him, “I have to be candid with you; this conversation has become unproductive and a bit offensive. I think we should change the topic.” And then instantly, he signed off. His picture and name left the screen. Poof. He was gone. It was a surprise, but a welcome one. I was relieved. I think we all were. We dusted ourselves off, and without disparaging him in his absence, we pivoted to a completely new topic. The networking conversation got much more interesting and professional from that point forward. By the end of the conversation, I found myself in conversations with professionals from the country of Panama, Madrid/Spain and Houston/Texas. From then on, it was really interesting and fun to be part of this virtual group networking conversation. What did I learn from this experience? Generalizing can be dangerous. It promotes faulty thinking and can lead to bias, stereotypes and discrimination. Being negative is not good. While we all have the need to vent from time to time, you have to be careful when and with whom you do this with. Complaining and/or speaking poorly of other people has a boomerang effect – it will reflect poorly on your personal brand. (Note: It would be a fair criticism of me, as the writer of this blog post, to say that I am being negative, and that I am complaining about others those complain. Kind of ironic?) Being candid is important. Don’t let fear of rejection, social embarrassment or intimidating bullies stop you from saying what needs to be said. Being frank, open and sincere in your communication and expression will help you reclaim your voice and authenticity. Don’t contribute to ageism. Criticizing young people makes you look and sound old. Stop doing this. Change your mindset. We all have to get along. We are living and working in a multi-generational society. At present, the five generations in the workplace include: Traditionalists – born 1927–to-1945 Baby Boomers – born 1946-to-1964 Generation X – born 1965-to-1980 Millennials – born 1981-to-2000 Generation Z – born 2001-to-2020 And of course, there’s this realization…. Every generation criticizes the one that follows This experience made me curious about why it is that the older generations seem to berate the younger generations. Was this just a one-off experience of mine? Is this a trend? Or is this a historical norm? I found an informative article on the Wall Street Journal website entitled “ Why the Old Look Down on the Young ” by Alison Gopnik (posted Dec 5, 2019). Based on a recent research study, the article suggests that “the younger generation isn’t getting worse; older people just like to think they are.” A research paper that appeared in the Science Advances journal ( you can download the full research paper ) has some delightful and surprising findings. Authors John Protzko and Jonathan Schooler of the University of California at Santa Barbara summarize their findings with the term, “kids these days” illusion. Here are a few insights from the study and the WSJ article: Old folks who are complaining were once on the receiving end of the same complaints themselves. Older people weren’t responding to objective facts about the young, instead they were making subjective comparisons in which they themselves came off best. Older folks compare those young people to their own memories of what they were like at the same age. Only those memories are unreliable. When we complain about the next generation, we’re actually comparing them to an idealized version of our own past, obscured by the flattering fog of memory. Finally… When it comes to getting along, both young and old need to keep an open mind and heart, maintain a positive attitude and a good sense of humor. Let’s all strive to have more “ageless conversations.” These quotes might help put us in a good frame of mind: “It’s the times. Young people these days. No respect for their elders. The way they throw rocks at our houses. We used to throw rocks. Yeah, but we did it respectively.” ~ Chris Willrich, science fiction writer/author “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ~ Mark Twain “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” ~ Tom Wilson “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” ~ Helen Hayes “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” ~ Henry Ford “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~ Sophia Loren “The youth is the hope of our future.” ~ Jose Rizal “That’s where the future lies, in the youth of today.” ~ Willie Stargell

They say that patience is a virtue, but why does it have to so painfu l? If you are like me, an Achiever who has a bias towards action, you want to see things get done in a timely fashion (aka fast!). Making progress on important projects and initiatives creates satisfaction in one’s work. It creates momentum in one’s life. But not everyone moves at the same speed. Rushing people and pushing too hard can create negative side effects, like longer delays, more errors and problems, and it can even put a dent in an otherwise solid relationships. I have recently experienced the need for greater patience on a personal project. My husband and I are building a new house. It’s been a dream that we’ve been talking about for many years. Three years ago we purchased the lot next to our current home. We began to clear the land and prepare the site, and then COVID-19 hit. With things being so uncertain, we put this particular project on hold. But in heart it was still alive and vibrant. Each day I would look out over the empty lot and I could SEE our new house in place. But alas it was but a vision. We were in the suspended state of “wanting and waiting.” Over the summer we had the good fortune of reconnecting with a long time friend who had just retired from a long and successful career in architecture. He generously offered to work with us on customizing our house plans. It was an exciting process. Within a few weeks, we had things nailed down and were ready to submit the plans to our town for review and approval. Then the town informed us that because there was a creek behind our property that we had to get special clearance from the Army Corp of Engineers to ensure environmental sustainability and protection of the waterways and habitat. Having never worked before with this organization before, we made the necessary calls and sent the emails. We read up on all sorts of documents online which introduced new terms and considerations that we had no clue about. It took 3 weeks to schedule the engineer to come to our property. On that date, she informed that we were good to go . There were no issues that she could find that would prevent us from building a home on this site. (Note: a spontaneous happy dance erupted at that moment.) But before we could submit our plans to the town for approval, she needed to write up and issue the full report. She couldn’t give us an estimated turnaround time, but did promise to have it done before she left on maternity leave (Yes, she was pregnant). We laughed awkwardly, but we didn’t feel comfortable probing for more specific information on her due date. So we waited. We checked in every week or so. And we waited some more. In fact, we waited for 50 days after her visit. Things were moving so slowly, at a snail’s pace. I almost felt like it would never happen. My husband and I got into a few uncomfortable discussions about how to interact with the Army Corps of Engineers. My more direct and assertive style and “Go and Get” personality, was 180 degrees different from my husband’s casual, kind and patient style and his “Wait and See” personality. He felt that pushing hard would be a bad thing to do in this case, while I viewed as reasonable and appropriate. People need to be held accountable, right? Not wanting to blow up things on the home front, I took a step back. I tried several strategies to become more patient with this process, including: Detaching myself from the outcome Practicing mindful meditation Love and let go Surrendering to a higher power (e.g., the Army Corps of Engineers) Repeating The Serenity Prayer Chilling out with a glass of wine Visualizing the final outcome Saying the daily manta – “This too shall pass” Letting go of the dream (sad face) Focusing on other things Dealing with Prolonged Periods of Waiting While I was going through this unavoidable and awkward dance with patience , I had conversation with a few clients whose patience meters are, by necessity, much higher than mine. In fact, I have one client who is a Mexican national. She is living here in the USA with her husband who is employed by a large company on a special work VISA. My client has been told by the USA immigration folks that she “cannot work.” Even the appearance of working or earning money from her services could jeopardize her green card application. And yet she longs to contribute. She is so incredibly talented, creative, energetic, and has SO MUCH value to offer the USA and all the people fortunate enough to collaborate her. I felt her pain. And then referred her to an immigration attorney to get clarity what she could do and couldn’t do while she was in this prolonged waiting period. Balancing Urgency and Patience Thinking about who I could turn to for advice and counsel on this matter, I thought immediately of Brandon Smith, who is known as The Workplace Therapist. I had the pleasure of meeting Brandon a few years ago while attending the Indie Books Family and Friends Forum – 3-day conference for authors and speakers in beautiful San Diego, California. Brandon impressed me immediately. I find him to be a genuine, compassionate, well-spoken, and approachable professional. His is a very likeable and knowledgeable expert in his field. We have stayed in touched since that first meet up. In fact, he invited me to appear as a featured guest on his podcast, The Workplace Therapist Show . I’ve been following his work with interest ever since. Brandon recently released a new book called T he Hot Sauce Principle: How to Live and Lead in a World Where Everything is Urgent All of the Time . His book proudly sits on my bookshelf. I reached for it as I was writing this blog. But I got impatient when I couldn’t immediately find what I was looking for, so I picked up the phone and left him a voicemail message. (Yes, another example of the need for patience and how urgency can create problems). He kindly returned my call within 30 minutes and we had a productive conversation. In fact, he shared a personal story of being at the gym, wanting to work out harder and push through the pain in his knee. But his realized that if he prioritized urgency over patience, he might exasperate his injury. The body needs time and rest to heal and recover. Indeed, the body needs more patience. Practical Advice from Brandon M. Smith, author of The Hot Sauce Principle Please enjoy these words of wisdom from Brandon Smith: “There are two cases when adding more urgency will can cause more harm than good. When you don’t have the proper resources (people, materials, time, etc…), adding more urgency will result in frustration. In this case, one must wait until they have everything they need before they apply any hot sauce. In other words: Not Enough Resources + Urgency = Frustration The second case when urgency can be counterproductive is when you have already applied a “maximum dose.” In this case, you have reached a threshold of impact for urgency. Any additional urgency will result in resentment, burnout and ultimately apathy. We begin to become numb to the hot sauce and resent the person applying the pressure. In this case, reading others is key. One must pay close attention to the cues that urgency and rely on patience for the duration. In other words: Maximum Applied Urgency + More Urgency = Resentment & Apathy” All’s Well That Ends Well If you are wondering what happened with the Army Corps of Engineers. One magical day at the end of April, when we least expected it... the approval letter came through!  We celebrated that evening with cheers and good feelings for everyone involved. With a burst of new energy, hope and urgency, the next day we pushed through to submit our house build plans to our local town for approval. And now, we wait again…patiently!